It’s sunny outside. I am not sad. I look outside and i see beautiful nature.
I see people. Busy people, with plans, chores, with a goal.
I am surrounded by colorful life and nice opportunities for anything i want.
I see people but i don’t see a person, people who would make me feel as a part of that colorful world.
My physical half is living it, but my mind is partly distracted.
Something is missing, that one last part which would make others start working.
One does not go without another. The last, missing part of me is a person.
What makes it harder to reach is that the person is already selected.
Feels like i sent an invitation for life long event and it went on hold.
My life needs to become a mystery. I want something new to happen, to have my own dark secrets and to live a life. To be unique. I wish to find love and happiness in someone superior, someone older than me and also close to me. I’m physically just a regular teen, but psychologically i think that i am different. I wish to live through all that and experience the stuff i’m dreaming of. But that’s all pretty much a night dark fairy tale, no beginning and no ending. So how am i suppose to know what am i searching for? I want a mystery. I want a real dark love adventure. When i say dark, i am picturing something hidden, dark, unseen..
Now.. this is the time when my friend told me his honest opinion and it really touched me, made me laugh and cry. I was really happy to have a friend like him. The story did not have a happy ending but i will always remember him per good. He was a good person.
“The reason i liked you so quickly is because i am also kind of goofy and straightforward personality wise, but i find it hard to be that way with new people.
When i’m with new people i usually just keep quiet and try not to bother anyone. YOU on the other hand don’t give a fuck. You’ll just act as yourself and have everyone deal with it.”